


Rabbit's Twisty Train of Logic: A Play

by forgetcanon



Series: Fully Informed / MIA Walters [3]
Category: Steam Powered Giraffe
Genre: Gen, Rabbit has judgement issues, The Spine gets dumped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 14:59:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetcanon/pseuds/forgetcanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Act One: The Spine gets his heart broken. Rabbit resolves to make it the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rabbit's Twisty Train of Logic: A Play

**Scene i**

_It is nighttime, the San Diegan Crickets chirping madly in the grass around the Walter Manor. A solitary figure crunches the gravel as he walks to the manor. He enters, not bothering to turn on a light, and makes his way to the Hall of Wires._

**The Spine** : I should have expected this...

_He's not saying this out loud, of course, that would be silly. He's speaking to the audience, not to the silent manor. His movements are robotic and precise- his version of defeat._

**The Spine** : Why do I even bother?

_QWERTY swings in, her pixelated screen showing a sad face._

**QWERTY** : ( _boops worriedly_ )  
 **The Spine** : I'm fine.  
 **Rabbit** : Oh _sure_ you're fine, about as fine as a cake in the r-rain.

_A light flicks on. Rabbit has moved an armchair and a sidetable from the library. The 'lamp' is a bunch of wires that QWERTY is helpfully manipulating._

**The Spine** : I don't want to talk about it.  
 **Rabbit** : Ya sure?  
 **The Spine** : I'm sure.

_The Spine sighs deeply, walking over to the detachment station. Rabbit leans forward in the chair, steepling his fingers. He's been studying for this. For once, he wants to have a serious conversation._

**Rabbit** : Hey, d-don't you run away from me. If-if'n you don't wanna t-talk, I still got somefin to say.  
 **The Spine** : So say it, and leave me alone.  
 **Rabbit** : Jeez, you're touchy. Did she leave you?  
( _beat_ )  
 **Rabbit** : Ya know they'll all do that, right?  
 **The Spine** : ( _quietly_ ) Leave me alone, Rabbit.  
 **Rabbit** : Do you?  
 **The Spine** : Yes. I know.

_The Spine shuts off his audioreceptors. Rabbit continues talking, even standing up to yell at The Spine as he disconnects from his body and crawls up into the wires._

 

 

**Scene ii**

_Another room in the Walter manor. Instruments line the west wall, workbenches fill the rest. The center space is clear, though something rather like a car lift is hanging from the ceiling._  
 _Rabbit enters._

**Rabbit** : Humans do this thing, where, when they get hurt, they avoid-void tha' thing what hurt 'em. I thought The Spine wa-was human enough to know _that_.

_He growls, looking around the workshop angrily. He grabs a can of oil and sets to work oiling his hands._

**Rabbit** : It always goes the s-same way. He meetsa girl, gets all-all moony ova her, then blames hisself when she l-leaves! N-n-n-neva the girl's fault, oh no, it's neva that the girl was too high-main-maintenance, or too stupid, or too bigoted tah stick around, noooo.

_He begins to really get into his rant, his expressions changing rapidly and his voice turning into an ugly snarl._

**Rabbit** : Oooh, I'm n-neva gonna get a girl ta love me, c-cause I'm not h-human! I d-don't deserve a b-bit of re-respect, cause I don't have a fleshy pump what makes me go! I j-just gotta one-of-a-kind core-ore m-made outta da stuff what keeps da u-u-u-niverse fused tagetha!

_Rabbit hurls the oil can at one of the walls, thankfully not the one covered in instruments. The can bursts. He buries his face in his hands, one of which is now covered in black oil from his clumsy attempts to oil the joints while he was so agitated._  
 _Mike enters. This is not Michael Reed- Michael Reed won't be born for another thirty years. This is Mike Buxbaum, the current engineer/drummer. He's in his jimjams and is holding a heavy steel bucket as a weapon. He lowers it once he sees Rabbit._

**Mike** : Hey Rabbit.

_Rabbit jumps- he hadn't heard Mike enter._

**Rabbit** : Oh h-h-hey Mi-ike.   
 **Mike** : 'S kinda late to be throwing things at the walls.  
 **Rabbit** : ...s-sorry.  
 **Mike** : Your hand bothering you again?

_Rabbit clearly doesn't want to lie to Mike, but he also doesn't want to tell the truth about the nice little tantrum he had a second ago._

**Mike** : Will you let me look at it?

_Rabbit extends his oil-covered hand for Mike to look at. Mike turns on the light and sits on the stool opposite._

**Mike** : Hmm. Looks like you just got a bit over enthusiastic about your oiling.

_There is an extremely awkward pause. Mike reaches into one of the drawers and pulls out a rag. He begins cleaning off the excess oil._

**Rabbit** : I can do that, Mike.   
 **Mike** : I know.  
 **Rabbit** : So you can go back to bed.  
 **Mike** : I'm up now.  
 **Rabbit** : I'll clean up the oil l-later. S-sorry about the noise.  
 **Mike** : It's fine.  
 **Rabbit** : So...  
 **Mike** : Nice try. You're not getting out of it.  
 **Rabbit** : D-drat. ( _He tries out a smile_.) I was h-hopin' tah give ya the slick.  
 **Mike** : ( _groans_ ) That was _bad_.  
 **Rabbit** : Heh.  
 **Mike** : So what happened? Is The Spine home yet?  
( _beat_ )  
 **Mike** : So you two fought?  
( _beat_ )  
 **Mike** : Your silence is really disturbing and not at all helpful.  
( _beat_ )  
 **Mike** : Stop looking at me like that. I'm trying to help.  
 **Rabbit** : I don't want your help.  
 **Mike** : Well, you're going to get it one way or another. So talk to me. What'd the poor wall do to deserve a whole can of oil to the face?

_There is a long, long pause. Mike finishes cleaning the excess oil off Rabbit's hand but continues pretending to clean it so that Rabbit doesn't have an excuse to run off. Rabbit doesn't notice._

**Rabbit** : He _always_ blames himself. Always.  
 **Mike** : As opposed to...?  
 **Rabbit** : No one! It's no one's fault! Th-those women he dates m-might be selfish, b-but they have every right tah be, mosta them! Th-The Spine can't get old, an' one d-day they're all gonna die! So they-ey leave 'im 'cause he's cold, they leave 'im 'cause th-their parents want 'em tah find a r-real man, they leave 'im 'cause they wan' babies- it doesn't matter! It's their choice! They l-leave 'im 'causa something he can't change!

_As he rages, Rabbit yanks his hand out of Mikes', waving them angrily as he speaks. He stands and faces the wall, still gesturing wildly, but not quite able to face Mike. This is a family problem. Rabbit needs to tell someone, but has a distant feeling that telling someone is a betrayal._

**Rabbit** : 'S not his fault, 's not their fault, 's just the world, but The Sp-Spine always thinks it's him.  
 **Mike** : Sounds like you've been dwelling on this.  
 **Rabbit** : ...yeah. 

 

 

**Scene iii**

_Rabbit stands alone on an empty stage. This is not a physical place, silly, it's his mind. Time to monologue._

**Rabbit** : The Spine listens when I've got him cornered, but he doesn't _pay attention_. Some things are people's fault, but women not usually wanting to stick around with a guy that can't help being what he is? That's not anyone's fault, it's just sad. I don't know why, but The Spine just won't see that. Maybe it makes him feel better, to blame himself when he's sad rather than to blame no one. I'm the older brother, though, and this needs to end.  
 **Rabbit's Voice** : ( _echoing slightly over the speakers_ ) He  _always_  blames himself. Always.  
 **Mike's Voice** : ( _echoing slightly over the speakers_ ) As opposed to...?  
 **Rabbit** : If he needs to blame some one, why not blame me? 'Sides, they're all gonna leave him someday.

End of Act One


End file.
